Chasing kids for photos.. uh, I mean taking photos of my kids

My son has never been a fan of getting his picture taken. He usually hides if he knows you’re trying to snap his pic; blocks his face with his hands or looks away quickly! I have to snap a quick candid shot before he knows what I’m up to, most of the time. Drives my grandmother crazy, who will spend an hour trying to get a perfect pose! I’ve been trying to get a good pic of him lately to use as a “school photo” since he’s homeschooled and won’t have that horrible wonderful picture day experience! But after two months of trying (I started early) I have given up and called in the professionals! Another deciding factor is that it’s high time we get an updated family photo, my poor daughter was no where near being born or even thought of in the last family photo, taken when my son was only one!

So, this weekend a pro photographer met with us at our favorite spot, a short hike to an awesome climbing tree we frequent. I pictured a lush green background as it is in springtime! As soon as we got there I realized, it hasn’t rained in ages, it’s the tail end of summer, and it’s as dry as a dead stick out there! When did that happen? Are there other areas of life I only see what I want to see and will someday be shocked into reality?! I mean I was just there two days ago and I still pictured it green, green, green!

So much for lush greens, we will be lucky to be seen amidst all that brown and yellow. Oh well. For some insane reason, I also pictured a calm, happy family, standing and smiling for a few quick clicks of the camera and then going off to enjoy the rest of our day. Looking back, I don’t know why I didn’t imagine the tantrum my son would throw over having to remove his precious florescent blue binoculars and his favorite green baseball cap! And then climbing up “his” tree and not wanting to come down. Or running up ahead and refusing to hold my hand for the adorable pic of all of us hiking down the trail together hand in hand. Or not wanting to sit still and to look up without complaining about the sun’s glare and covering his face in his hands!

We were there practically all day and though the photographer was very patient and kind, even to the extent of letting my out of control child hold (gasp!) her big expensive camera and teaching him how to work it! He did cooperate a bit better after that. I was so torn between wanting to make him behave as I normally would require with consequences for not listening, and not wanting to set off a complete meltdown which would be even less helpful to a good picture than the hope of capturing one spontaneously! I probably looked like a horrible mother who hasn’t a clue how to discipline her children!

On top of that, I had to remind myself to smile and look at the camera, though I really just wanted to scream and throttle someone; my anxiety level was steadily rising every minute! My husband and I were too busy trying to coax cooperation from one kid and make sure the younger one stayed put long enough, as well as pull her dress back down to cover her undies! AND, my dearest hubby was being kissy and lovey and I was in no mood for that! Not to mention I’m uncomfortable with public affection in the first place. Yes, we were in the woods away from people, but it’s not pleasant to have someone, even a photographer, staring at you while your hubby is grabbing your ass! I was not allowed to keep my distance, either, as she, to my horror, reminded me that we love each other and to smoosh closer together!

I have yet to see the results. I’m sure their are tons of great shots of my daughter as she is a little camera diva! But I can’t imagine the family shots being anything other than a disaster! Though I think she may have snuck a few good pics of my crazy boy while he was being a monkey in “his” climbing tree. 

This was one of my attempts at a home photo shoot with the kids, back when my son still had long hair. Needless to say, I suck as a photographer, and don’t let your kid have a balloon to get them to smile for the camera.

The winner!  Lighting and location sucks (dirty kitchen floor), but, OMG they’re both looking!