Day 2 of the Blog a Day in May Challenge.
Something that I’m really good at.
This is a hard one! I feel like I’m good at a lot of things, art, crafts, sewing, writing, cooking…, I can even sing! And I used to be a
pretty good dancer (swing dancing, if I had a good leading partner!) But I’m not a super star at any of those things. What am I really good at? I think I’m best at being a mom, but that’s not something I can teach. At least not completely in one post! After some thought, and
reflecting on my condensed life story post from yesterday, I’ve decided what I’m really best at is: (oh the suspense…)
pretty good dancer (swing dancing, if I had a good leading partner!) But I’m not a super star at any of those things. What am I really good at? I think I’m best at being a mom, but that’s not something I can teach. At least not completely in one post! After some thought, and
reflecting on my condensed life story post from yesterday, I’ve decided what I’m really best at is: (oh the suspense…)
being happy!
That may come as surprise from someone who just professed to struggling with depression most of her life! Yes, I still battle with
depression sometimes, mainly when my hormones are shifting, but I can recognize it coming on and change my way of thinking so it doesn’t take me into despair. It makes me work harder for the good times and I then appreciate them so much more.
depression sometimes, mainly when my hormones are shifting, but I can recognize it coming on and change my way of thinking so it doesn’t take me into despair. It makes me work harder for the good times and I then appreciate them so much more.
So, this is my recipe for happiness:
How to Be Happy:
Slow Down and Breathe!
None of us can see, do, or accomplish everything there is to. So take your time and enjoy the things you have
accomplished. The beauty you see around you now. The things you can do now, that you take for granted. Put Success into perspective and
accomplished. The beauty you see around you now. The things you can do now, that you take for granted. Put Success into perspective and
Remember What is Truly Important:
What is your true idea of success? I am not wealthy, I’m in a tiny house, living month to month, with no career (at least not one that can yet support my family), but is making money, having a top career, or high social status my drive? No.
Am I happy where I’m at? Yes! I have a roof over my head, a warm bed, running water, more than enough food and clothes, (there are plenty that can’t even say that!) But I have so much more; a wonderful husband, two beautiful kids, friends, and family! I can work harder (in a different way) for more, and I will, but I can still be happy right where I am today.I gave up my career in medical coding to spend this time with my kids while they’re little. It goes so fast and I know I could never get it back. Do you think they’ll remember about their childhood that we didn’t have the nicest furniture? Or the time we spent learning, playing, and laughing together?
Our society focuses on all the wrong things, and there’s so much pressure to be the best. To flaunt those bright colorful feathers and strut. Well I am the best even if I am a plain little bird. I’m the best wife and mom I know how to be. I am raising my kids to live their dreams, find their own passions in life and not conform to what society says they should be. I
have become comfortable not needing to put on a show and prove my success to anyone.
have become comfortable not needing to put on a show and prove my success to anyone.
I can work more on my career when they don’t need me as much, if I choose to. Not because I have to
have nicer furniture. Those are just material things. Relationships with my family, following my own passions in art and writing, raising my kids to love, respect, care about our world and others, and find true happiness is what matters most to me.
have nicer furniture. Those are just material things. Relationships with my family, following my own passions in art and writing, raising my kids to love, respect, care about our world and others, and find true happiness is what matters most to me.
Let It Go
For so long I cried over the past, longed for things to have been different or hurts to have never happened. But they did and it’s over. There’s no going back, only forward. So why focus on that? Yes, it still hurts even now sometimes, but you are what you make yourself. Not what you’ve come from.
You can come from the worst circumstances but decide now not to fill your heart with anger and resentment. To let those experiences make you stronger and smarter and then let them go. Take a deep breath in and then breathe out all those bad feelings. Hike to the top of a hill and yell them out if that helps. Sing them, paint them, talk them, or write them out and then burn the journal. Whatever it takes for you to get it out and move on.
Then work on forgiving the people that hurt you. It doesn’t make anything they did right; it’s just you letting it no longer have power over you. It’s for your own freedom.
Worry Less
I am a worry-wort myself. But some things will happen as they happen, and worrying too much about them just causes you stress and does nothing to help the situation. Find something that works to calm your nerves; practice deep, relaxing breathing, listen to soothing music, avoid the news, violent movies, or whatever you recognize as contributing to your worries or anxiety. For myself I avoid very depressing news, music, movies, and books, though they may come highly recommended. I just know I have to do that for myself.
Notice the small pleasures
Savor that sip of coffee in the morning. Stop to burn into memory your child’s smile, that was just for you, before they run off again. Listen
to the music of birds and crickets. Feel the warm sand or grass under your toes. Savor the sunset and quiet while you drive home in traffic. Appreciate that you walk pain free when you have to stand in a long line at the store. Listen to the great composers and give art that you pass a moment of appreciation. Little by little you will fill yourself up with good thoughts, great tiny moments to look forward to each day, and train yourself to recognize more and more wonders around you.
to the music of birds and crickets. Feel the warm sand or grass under your toes. Savor the sunset and quiet while you drive home in traffic. Appreciate that you walk pain free when you have to stand in a long line at the store. Listen to the great composers and give art that you pass a moment of appreciation. Little by little you will fill yourself up with good thoughts, great tiny moments to look forward to each day, and train yourself to recognize more and more wonders around you.
Loosen up!
Laugh more! Be silly! Don’t worry about what others think and run around with your kids! Make faces and spend more time just being with them and enjoying their personalities. Don’t let a wrinkle, rip, spill, or mess ruin your whole day. Ease up and relax. Enjoy life. It’s the only one you have and it’s passing you by quickly!
Do Nice Things
Nothing can make you feel happy more than when you make someone else happy! Whether they deserve it or not, give someone a flower, write a note with a white board marker on the mirror for your kids or spouse. Put a little treat for them to find somewhere, in their lunch or on their pillow. Give more compliments; tell a stranger you like her blouse or hair, it could be the one thing that made her day!
Take on a task for someone just because you can. Open doors. Give extra change to the person in line behind you. If you can, find causes that are meaningful to you and help any way you can. (See my Get Involved page for quick, easy, many even free, ways to get you started caring about someone other than you). We are here to help each other in this world and this is the most fulfilling type of work you can do.
Smile more.
Say hello to people you pass.
Judge less.
Don’t compare your life to others.
I am far from perfect, I lose my temper, yell at my kids more than I care to admit, forget to do all these things I listed, but I try. And it really has led me to be the happiest I’ve ever been!
Think about what is most important to you and what truly makes you happy and go after it.
Even if you’re scared. Even if no one else understands. You need to do what is right for your life and your happiness.
-If you’re truly Depressed and/or thinking of suicide, read my Cure for Depression advice-
I really like your list. One of the paragraphs I really liked was "I can work more on my career when they don’t need me as much, if I choose to. Not because I have to have nicer furniture. Those are just material things. Relationships with my family, following my own passions in art and writing, raising my kids to love, respect, care about our world and others, and find true happiness is what matters most to me."
I love savoring coffee and taking time to myself. So true about doing for others. There is nothing better to uplift yourself. Life is too short to spend so much time worrying. Happy SITS Day!
Wow so much of what you have said here hits home! I am a self diagnosed chronic worrier. I spend way to much time worrying about what could happen that I get stuck in it.
Thank you for the uplifting words 😀
Happy SITS day!
Keia
Happy SITS day. Great post. I am learning that breathing – deeply helps a lot. Recently I realized that I breathe rather shallowly and read some articles about the importance of taking deep breaths. Living in Santa Cruz has to help with happiness. I live nearby and am there often. Beautiful blog.
Very good advice. I especially agree with not comparing yourself to others. I am in the process of learning that doing so will never end well. Happy SITS Day!
Such GREAT wisdom!! Focusing on all that we are grateful for, is truly the art of happiness. Amen? 🙂
Lovely sentiments & I'm right there with you.
Optimism truly is the way to being happy… I hope you are enjoying your SITS day!!
Meaningful advice especially realizing how fast time flies. You are very wise and I love how you put it all together. Thanks for lifting my day and starting it on the right (positive) foot! Reading blogs in the am is my simple pleasure, my cup of coffee and I'm happy this morning that I read yours!
You truly have a great gift. Thanks for this blog on the day I go back to school to teach high school math. It's going to be 80 in a brick building with no AC and I wasn't looking forward to it. Now, I will focus on being happy. Enjoy your SITS Day.
This pretty much sums it up. Now if we could just remember these things instead of getting distracted by the day-to-day stresses and worries of life. I need to write these things down and post them where I can see them frequently.
Beautiful tips. Noticing the small pleasures and letting myself be happy in the moment instead of focusing on all the things that aren't right or didn't get done is the one I am constantly fighting in myself. Thanks for the reminder.
Great post! I think gratitude is a big one for me when I begin to feel sad, along with being present and not dragging the past around with me or future-projecting.
I like the way you say it. You're good at being happy. This post is so positive. Maybe I should do something for someone just because I can do it. http://wealthmindsets.com/
Definitely! I need to do it more myself. Take my own advice!
These are absolutely wonderful tips! I love how you commented about how society teaches us to focus on the wrong things..how true that is! And I love enjoying the little things..i have been trying to do that a lot lately. 🙂
So good to hear!
Beautiful post!
thank you! I just tweaked it a tiny bit and added a photo, if you're interested in checking back. 😉