My sweet, easy going, baby girl, turned two one day.
On that very day, yes, the exact day of her second birthday, something happened to her. Maybe she was abducted by aliens and replaced with a clone. Or suffered a head injury we did not witness. I’ll never know, but suddenly she had a new personality!
Oh, she was still her smiling, sweet, cheerful little self….. as long as she got her way. But something had snapped inside that precious little body the moment she turned two years old! Now, when I was taking too long to hand her a snack, when she was told she could not have that extra cookie, or grab a toy from her brother, terror and anxiety filled the household where peace used to rein!
She screamed till she turned red, stomped her feet, threw things, and finally threw herself on the ground, arms and legs flailing! It was shocking and difficult to get used to this new Boo. It took the rest of the family quite a while to adjust, if you can call it that. It was so disconcerting to see my once easy going, mellow girl, turn into a banshee!
At first I thought I would, of course, nip this behavior in the bud. She was not my first child after all! I had the tools from experience in my belt already. When my son was two, I had heard of the terrible two’s, but I thought it was overrated. As long as I took the time to really listen to what he was upset about we could usually head off a tantrum.
Most melt downs happened when I was in a hurry, barking orders, and not listening to how he wanted to put his socks on himself! If I stopped to hear what he had to say I could reason with him and
manage to calm him down. Monkey saved his attitude till he was three. Even then, it was more of an I know it all attitude rather than tantrums.
But now, with this one, there is no reasoning
whatsoever! It’s either her way, or no way.
I tried everything I could think of! Everything I knew to do and yes, some not to. (Don’t judge! Never has anyone pushed my buttons so perfectly or brought me to breaking point so quickly!) I even spanked a few times, I hate to admit, and I’ll have you know it did not faze the little creaton in the least!
I researched other suggestions and tips from the so-called experts (who have probably never had a two year old!). Nothing worked. I eventually came to terms with the fact that this is the way she is (for now, praying it’s just a faze!) and I just have to ride it out.
When nothing worked I accepted that she just needs to scream herself out and calm down before she can be expected to listen to any kind of reasoning. Sometimes it even take a few cycles of this until she’s too tuckered out to fight! She’ll come out of her room when finally calm, but when she hears the verdict is still no, she still can not have ice cream or paint on the wall- look out- all out tantrum all over again!
This is especially embarrassing in public! I have been the receiver of many a disapproving stare, head shake, and under the breath comment from moms (and everyone else) who “know better” how to teach their kids proper behavior.
Somehow along the way, though, we’ve gotten used to the situation and my husband and I have a new mantra:
Deep breathing and more wine
These are great traits to have when she’s grown,
they’re just difficult to deal with now.
Knows what she wants and not afraid to fight for it
Will never let anyone walk all over her
Won’t give up or back down from a challenge
Not easily discouraged or distracted
Speaks her mind
These truly are great strengths to have! What more could I want for my child? But they are extremely hard to deal with at two years old! And I am absolutely dreading when she’s a teen! Maybe I should start researching now where I can send her from about age 13 to 17? A convent? An all girls boarding school in the Arctic? (kidding)
Did your kids go through the terrible two’s (or are they now)? What was the worst tantrum over?