The Girl in the Mirror {Blog a Day in May Challenge- Day 31}

I don’t like confrontation. In fact I go out of my way to avoid it! But, if I feel very strongly about something, I will go against my nature, break through the anxiety, and step up to say something. 

My senior year in high school I experienced one of those times. Now, as an artist, you would think I would love art class. However throughout high school, I never had an art teacher I liked. I do love to create art. But, I do not like to be told how, or what I can and can not make, and especially, especially, you DO NOT DRAW OR PAINT ON MY PAPER!

The assignment was to paint a still life in watercolor. I painted a vase full of flowers that was set before my table. Boring!  

I did a descent job, I thought, but there was no passion in it. My mind wandered all over the place; what to do after school, why did that kid look at me weird the other day, wish I could take a nap… I finished, more than once, but the teacher told me to keep working on it, make it more detailed.

She came by again another day and said I needed to add a little more shadow here,
and actually picked up the paint brush and colored on my paper!
Without thinking I grabbed the paint brush to stop her, but it was too late! The paint had touched the paper! I could feel my face flush red (which it always does when I’m upset, like a big bright tomato) I was shaking, I was so angry!

I stood up and told her it was MY art and she shouldn’t have touched it! She told me it was school property and she could do whatever she wanted with it, that I was lucky she doesn’t call the principle for my grabbing her, and I needed to get out of her class NOW!

I yelled, “FINE!” And ran out the door. I stood in the rain until class ended and I could sneak in unnoticed to grab my things.  I was furious all the long walk home.

The next class I tried to keep working on my paper, which I hated with an absolute passion now. The more I added to it, the worse it looked. Finally it was such an ugly greyish brown mess (you just can’t keep layering watercolor!) I didn’t know what to do with it and I hated it all the more. I wadded it up and threw it in the garbage can.

I browsed through some magazine photos and surprisingly found one that really spoke to me. It was the picture of little girl, holing up a grown woman’s gown, looking at her reflection in the mirror. It made me think of myself; I wear the appropriate clothes for my age, but am really just an insecure little girl inside.

I painted it with watercolors on a new paper. I worked hard on it for days. Not for my teacher, but just for myself. My teacher eventually noticed I was not following directions and she told me that was not the assignment and that I needed to throw that away and work on my still life. I told her I did do the assignment, but she had ruined it, so I had thrown it out. Not exactly true, but I didn’t care.

Maybe she didn’t feel like dealing with me that day, but she left me alone. I finished my painting and was very proud of it! My teacher reluctantly said she would give me a passing grade because she could tell I put a lot of work into it, but that she could not give me an A. I was impressed with my own work and even had it framed for the end of the year art show.

At the show, I overheard parents complementing my work! I was too shy to say, hey that’s mine! But I eavesdropped when people were near my painting. Then I overheard my teacher unashamedly bragging about how the artist of that painting was her student. How she had loved having me in her class! She had recommended this assignment and helped me through the process.

Then lasers shot from eyeballs and melted a huge hole right through the middle of her. She screamed before toppling over and everyone cheered! Okay, no one noticed my evil glare or the smoke coming from my ears, but I still love that painting. I gave it to my mom and she’s had it hanging in her home ever since.